Re-directing

Marianne's no longer in Africa...

Much as she longs to be there (insert sad violin music here).

Continue following her life in Singapore here! :)

Well, it's some of her life, and a lot of other random/awesome photos/quotes and... thingies :)

I love you all, thank you for being a part of my journey in Africa.

Oh, one more thing... I'm starting to write a book about the 10 most amazing months of my life (so far). So... You could stay tuned for that ;D

Love always,

Marianne

Coming... Home?

I’m starting to feel it… The first couple of days were great being back, I mean I was just organising my room and recovering from jet lag and being with my family and meeting the church people and things like that, but it’s been a few days now and… I’ve come to realise that while I survived the last couple of days being back, I left my heart in Africa.

I have 2 choices now: mourn that it’s not with me, or bring it back where it belongs, because unless an angel flies me to Africa, there’s no way I’m visiting any time soon.

Boy, is it hard. I took a public bus for the first time in 10 months. On the way to Whitesands with Melvin, I inhaled air polluted by sweaty students for a half hour. On the way home, a little boy sat down next to me and I had to curb my desire to start playing with him. It just might’ve been weird.

It’s the first time I feel this way. I’d never wanted to be away from Singapore. Never wanted to study overseas. Never wanted to be away from friends for a long time. But now there’s nothing more that I want than for me to be out of here.

I’m home, but I’m not at home.

Reminders

A lady came in yesterday with donations and decided to stay for a bit to hold the babies since it was time for their bottles.

My back was facing her as I fed 2 babies while sitting on the floor, and some of the other girls were talking to her. My mind was elsewhere...

Then she apologised. Mackenzie told her that it was okay, and that we all had our moments. Amanda said she was like that the whole of her first week.

I turned around to see her crying as she held the baby in her arms, overwhelmed with emotion.

That reminded me that these babies I look after every day aren't just babies... They're... So much more special than that... I can't even find a word for it.

Talking to Mum about S and how he'd stand up and lean his head on my leg and how much I'd miss it almost made me cry.

Imma gonna miss these babas.

2 weeks

And I'll be home!

I admit it; I dread leaving South Africa, and the thought of returning to a place I once called home, where people have moved on with their lives without me kinda scares me. More than just kinda, actually.

But then there are random things that I think about, and I get excited to go home!

1. Seeing Dad and Mum and Justin.

This is what I look forward to the most... I've survived without seeing them face to face, but they're the people I've lived with for the past 18 years of my life, and I can't wait to see them again :)

(The rest are not ordered anymore)

2. Giving Dad head massages (Yes dad, you can look forward to that!)

3. Talking to Mum any time I want about anything I want :)

4. Creating stupid videos with Justin. Cooking for ourselves and... Attempting to survive without Mum and Dad :)

5. Developing the rolls of film I used in my Diana F+.

6. Having easy access to groceries and everything else you find in a mall.

7. Internet.

8. FOOD. (If this list were ordered, this would be far up!)

9. Meeting up with the sai kangs. And the kias. And the darlings. And the 204 gang. And all the other random people (who really aren't random). Aiya meeting up with everybody la :)

10. Bringing one of my closest friends whom I've been keeping in contact with to church! =D

11. FOOD!

12. Walking around at night and feeling safe. Or just being allowed to be out at night.

13. Volunteering.

14. Skyping Lisa & Mackenzie from home and showing them my home and family and everything!

15. HAVING A PIANOOOOO TO PLAY ONNNNNNN!

Okay I can't remember anything else now. Haha it will be good to go home... :)

I'll miss the babies so much though. Ahhhhh 2 weeks. Mental preparation begins nowww!

Why I love babies

It's like that sometimes at the Door of Hope :)

First Goobye

Le Qiang was adopted yesterday, and he’s the first baby out of the 14 I look after to leave for his forever family.

The last evening that I had with him, I held him in my arms as he melted my heart with that huge, toothless, gum-bearing smile of his, and I prayed for him. I thanked God that he would finally have a daddy and mummy, and that he would finally have a family that loved him and gave him all the care and support that he needed. I prayed that he would grow up walking with God and loving Him, and becoming the man God wants him to be.

As I looked at him, 6 weeks worth of affection for this baby caused me to tear up.

He didn’t even know that his life would literally change overnight. I knew I’d miss him, but I couldn’t be happier that he was being adopted. I thought of how he came to the Door of Hope – how he’d been abandoned and could’ve died if no baby house had taken him in, and how he was given a second chance at life by being brought to the Door of Hope.

Now, he’s being given a second chance at a normal, good life with a lovely Christian family, thanks to adoption.

I miss my baby, but I know that he is, and will always be, in loving, safe arms.

PS: If you want to know more about the Door of Hope, here's an article the BBC wrote about it :)

Growth

For people our age, 5 weeks just means

a couple more grams of fat/muscle,

hair 5mm longer,

and for those slightly older, 500 more strands of grey hair.

For babies, 5 weeks means some are

rolling over,

standing up,

cooing,

teething,

kicking,

giggling,

crawling,

sitting,

scooting,

taking baby steps...

It's been 5 weeks since I've arrived at the Door of Hope, and having the privilege of seeing these babies grow is... Amazing. Especially when I actually realise that a baby is doing something he wasn't doing the day before. Or any day before, for that matter.

It's so exciting! It's so, so exciting! I love it. I'm really enjoying being with the kids, watching them grow and just loving being with them. Maybe it helps that I can now hold 2 kids at once and occasionally handle 3.

On another exciting note, I'm accompanying our volunteer coordinator to bring a couple of kids to the occupational therapist :)

Okay, I'm home in a month. Talking to Mackenzie and Lisa about it, along with people at home, I'm getting increasingly excited about coming home to do certain things, meet a whole lot of amazing people, and eat the awesome food (I promise that I'm heading down to Tembeling Road to eat the ex-Feifei chicken rice the day I return home). Somewhere in me I've just gotta find the will to leave though. I don't wanna leave at all...

Ah, South Africa has become home away from home :)